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ANOUSH. We met at the bar about, what, five years ago?
LAPTOP. It’ll be six years – next June.
ANOUSH. Oh, good memory!
LAPTOP. And back then, I was such a closet case – you couldn’t take me *ANYWHERE.*
ANOUSH. I was still in college – looking for a new Outlook.
LAPTOP. And I couldn’t even REMEMBER the last time I’ve had my cookies enabled.
ANOUSH. We just clicked, you know?
LAPTOP. And I thought: This is someone I could definitely open up to.  She introduced me to her friends, family- basically hooked me up.
ANOUSH. C’monnnn you’re making it sound like I own you.
LAPTOP. She freaks out when other people touch me.
ANOUSH. They’re all users! And I’m against ANY kind of drinking when they’re around you.
LAPTOP: Hey. Hey. I don’t just drop my menus whenever I get clicked on.
ANOUSH. Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. The last thing I’d call you is cheap.
LAPTOP. Do you regret choosing me over that 14-inch model back in the day?
ANOUSH. Not at all. In my opinion, 14 inches is a bit much.
LAPTOP. Thanks for sharing.
ANOUSH. I mean, if I had that thing? I’d never leave the house.
LAPTOP. Alright, I think we get it_
ANOUSH. I mean, how does anyone expect to move from one place to another?
ANOUSH. Really though. Where’re you supposed to PUT it? I guess you just carry it around as is, but then THAT’S not safe either, you know? I see it getting horribly damaged or causing damage to others.
LAPTOP. Well, then, I’m glad you’re into squares.

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