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Monthly Archives: April 2011

ANOUSH. So, have you always been a supporter of the arts?
BRA. Oh yeah. I mean, after all those years in training, I was bound to be.
ANOUSH. When did you first learn that you had an eye for talent?
BRA. Well, I was always a fan of pushing people to their full potential. A “fundraiser” if you will.
ANOUSH. That’s great. Especially now when it feels like everyone’s strapped for cash.
BRA. And you gotta remember, it’s not like profits automatically double overnight.
ANOUSH. Heh, you don’t have to tell ME twice.
BRA. So in the meantime, it’s important to stay well-rounded and expand your social circles. ‘Cause you never know when something might pop up.
ANOUSH. That’s sheer genius.
BRA. Yep. Sooner or later, you gotta grow a pair.
ANOUSH. Totally.
BRA. Glad we see eye-to-eye on this.
ANOUSH. My eyes are up *here*, brah.
BRA. Pardon me. And don’t worry – you’ve got such a great future ahead of you.
ANOUSH. Aw, c’mon, you’re just saying that.
BRA. No-no, I don’t front. But I gotta take off for now.
ANOUSH. Yeah, I gotta bounce, too.
BRA. One day – down the line – we need to get together and hang.
ANOUSH. Sure.
BRA. No, I mean it. If you ever need to get anything off your chest, I’ll totally hook you up.
ANOUSH. Whoa. Thanks, Bra! You really lift my spirits!
BRA. Anytime. And always keep me posted on any new developments.

****May not be suitable for children under 5.

ANOUSH. I got a pearl necklace once.

PEARL NECKLACE. Oh, yeah?

ANOUSH. Yeah. From my aunt. It was my birthday.

PEARL NECKLACE. How lovely!

ANOUSH. And it was a *real* one, too.

PEARL NECKLACE. Yeah, never fall for that fake stuff.

ANOUSH. Choker.

PEARL NECKLACE. Oh nice. Did it hook or was it one that screwed?

ANOUSH. Uh, it wrapped all the way around. It was… like… kinda wiry.

PEARL NECKLACE. Mother *OF* !!

ANOUSH. Yep. Wore it everywhere.

PEARL NECKLACE. Well, well, *well!* Congratulations, Lady!

ANOUSH. Thanks, Pearl Necklace!
……………………………………..
ANOUSH. Sometimes? I just wanna have a conversation about jewelry, you know?

PEARL NECKLACE. *Completly* understand. Too bad we can’t. *Totally* sucks………. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve said that.  That was obscene.

ANOUSH. No, don’t apologize. It was me.

PEARL NECKLACE. No no, I_

ANOUSH. No_

PEARL NECKLACE. C’mon! Don’t be so hard on yourself.

ANOUSH. Ok-ok. Fine, I won’t.

PEARL NECKLACE. I appreciate you stickin’ your neck out for me, though

ANOUSH. Oh, anytime! And I don’t care what anybody says – you clean up *real* nice.

ALMOND. The key to being awesome_
ANOUSH. Go on….
ALMOND. … is that you need to prove that you’re not just some nut.
ANOUSH. Right.
ALMOND. You gotta wake up every morning and tell yourself_
ANOUSH. Whaddo I *say*?! *Tell* me.
ALMOND. You say ” *I*…
ANOUSH. “I…?
ALMOND. “I *am*
ANOUSH. “I am…?
ALMOND. “I am the alpha and the omega-3.”
ANOUSH. Nice. Awesome. Yes! I will *DO* that!
ALMOND. Stick with me and before you know it, you’ll get people eating out of the palm of their own hands.
ANOUSH. This is really helpful.
ALMOND. And that brings me to the *next* key to being awesome_
ANOUSH. Mannnn, you’re just shellin’ them out, aren’t ya?
ALMOND. … which is to not get mixed up in the Bar scene.
ANOUSH. Oh… I would NEVER!!
ALMOND. Good. ‘Cause after a while you just_
ANOUSH. Well, I’d imagine it just gives you a bad wrap.
ALMOND. Exactly. I mean, take, for instance, Me.
ANOUSH. Yeah?
ALMOND. When I started out? I was just like any other nut trying to make it in the industry.
ANOUSH. Totally.
ALMOND. But I realized_
ANOUSH. What did you realize?!
ALMOND. …that if I just played it natural the whole time, people would just appreciate me more.
ANOUSH. Oooooh *good* one.
ALMOND. Plus I’m always lookin’ out for your heart, ya know?
ANOUSH. Wow. I….wow.
ALMOND. So… that’s why it’s important to come outta your shell and explore, once in a while.
ANOUSH. Hey! This was really very helpful. And *REALLY* nice talking to you!
ALMOND. Always a Joy.
ANOUSH. Oh!! Hey!!! Before you go, can I ask you a few quick questions?
ALMOND. Oh, sure.
ANOUSH. Ok, ok, this’ll only take a second. Ok: What’s your favorite band? Inquiring minds want to know.
ALMOND. 30 SECONDS TO MARZIPAN.
ANOUSH. Ooooh nice! What’s your favorite book?
ALMOND. MEN ARE FROM MARZIPAN, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.
ANOUSH. Cool! And, finally: What’s your favorite movie?
ALMOND. MARZIPAN ATTACKS.
ANOUSH. Ohmigod, me too! That’s *nuts*!
 
::: No comments from the peanut gallery ::::
ANOUSH. So whaddaya wanna do tonight?
BRIE. I dunno whadda YOU wanna do?
ANOUSH. How ’bout we go out? Ya know, get cultured.
BRIE. I don’t need to go out to get cultured – Culture comes to ME.
ANOUSH. Just by sitting there?
BRIE. Sure. I can’t tell you how many conversations  I’ve eavesdropped on that had something to do with some painting or museum or other.
ANOUSH. Really.
BRIE. Yep. People just gather around me and start talking about whatever’s new and hip. And I don’t even have to leave the house.
ANOUSH. Don’t you think it’s time for a change though?
BRIE. Trust me, I’m changing every day.
ANOUSH. C’mon, be mature.
BRIE. Look. I’ve let you string me along for a WHILE now, and enough is enough. You just have to admit that you and I AREN’T from the same cloth.
ANOUSH. Sounds like you’re trying to get the cow *AND* the milk for free.
BRIE. Well? That’s the American Dream.
ANOUSH. That’s not the American Dream.
BRIE. Yes it is.
ANOUSH. No it isn’t,
BRIE. Yes it is.
ANOUSH. Well, you’re not American.
BRIE. Ah, but I could be.
ANOUSH. C’mon, no way.
BRIE. *YES* whey!
………………………………………………..
BRIE. Don’t get me wrong. I still like you.
ANOUSH. I like you too. Believe it or not, I always make a smile when I say your name.
BRIE. I believe it.
ANOUSH. Heh, so… I guess… best of luck to you in your future endeavors.
BRIE. Thanks. Same to you. And whatever it’s worth_
ANOUSH. Yeah?
BRIE. We’ll always have Paris.