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Monthly Archives: July 2011

BACON. Morning!

ANOUSH. Oh! Oh my gosh, it’s YOU! Wait ’til I tell everyone- they’re gonna flip!
BACON. Oh, you don’t have to make it an over-the-stove-top thing.
ANOUSH. No-no-no, you don’t understand – you’re *ALLLLL* they talk about. And, just as a side? I know ALL your bits by heart.
BACON. Really!
ANOUSH. Yep! And Oh! I’ve been reading your strip every morning, too. It’s SO well-done.
BACON. Thanks! I didn’t know I had followers.
ANOUSH. Trust me. You have followers.
BACON. So, do you hang out here a lot?
ANOUSH. Psh, I practically live here.
BACON. Well, thanks for comin’ down, then!
ANOUSH. Oh, anytime!
BACON. Am I allowed to smoke in here?
ANOUSH. Oh yeah. Go for it.
BACON. Thanks.
ANOUSH. So you know the Fryer’s Club?
BACON. Oh, yeah. Totally.
BACON. Yeah, I’ve had a pretty lucky streak. But it’s not like I’m the salt of the earth or anything.
ANOUSH. Whaddayou mean?
BACON. I meannnnn I’m not, like, side-splittingly funnyall the time.
ANOUSH. C’monnnnn don’t hack away at yourself like that – it’s not Kosher.
BACON. But a lot of my stuff’s very raw and_
ANOUSH. Say what you will…. I think you’re definitely Oscar material.
BACON. Hah, thanks but I kinda think all that stuff’s baloney.
ANOUSH. Yeah, I guess it’s easy to get yourself wrapped up in it all.
BACON. Lil’ bit.
ANOUSH. I still think we have a lot in common even though we come from different stock.
BACON. Wow. What a good note to end on. *Waaaay* to bring it home!
ANOUSH. Thanks, Bacon!
ANOUSH. Where’ve you been!
REMOTE. You know where I’ve been? Flippin’ out – *that’s* where I’ve been.
ANOUSH. Well people’ve been worried – they’ve begun to *TALK.*
REMOTE. GOOD! *Let* ’em talk!

ANOUSH. They say you’ve lost your touch.

REMOTE. Tell ’em I’ve gone undercover. Yeah… yeah and that I’ll return… indefinitely.
REMOTE. NO! Tell ’em  I’ve finally taken control of my own life and that I’ve had it up to my BUTTons with their_
REMOTE. *NO* actually, tell ’em – noooooo…*ask* ’em – how THEY’D feel if they had to work two dead-endtable jobs on a daily basis.
ANOUSH. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, STOP.
REMOTE. No, YOU stop.
ANOUSH. No, *YOU* stop.
REMOTE. No, YOU stop.
::::::: Quite the power struggle, eh? ::::::::::
ANOUSH. Could we start over?
REMOTE. Ok, fine.
ANOUSH. Nowwww. What brought this on?
REMOTE. Ughhhhh, I dunno… I never shoulda gone commercial.
ANOUSH. Oh, don’t say that.
REMOTE. If I could do it allover again, I would’ve watched my own ideas play out more.
ANOUSH. So why’d you make the switch?
REMOTE. The lifestyle! The *lifestyle!* I got paid under the couch and they called me cute, weird things like “arm candy” and other pet names and_
ANOUSH. Sounds like you totally got lost in it.
REMOTE. Yeah! I know! And I’m not even that great with people. I really don’t do well with social clicks.
ANOUSH. But *this* is going pretty well, though!
REMOTE. It is, you’re right! We should get together again sometime and dish!
ANOUSH. Yeah! Maybe I can pick you up one day or something – what’s your schedule like?
REMOTE. Pretty flexible – I work from home.
ANOUSH. Wow, that’s great. I bet you get to spend a lot of time with the family that way.
REMOTE. Yeah, exactly. Plus I take on a lot of additional side-table jobs to help channel my creativity.
ANOUSH. Sounds like you’re living’ in the *lap*!
REMOTE. I dunno. It’s a living…. (room.)