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Monthly Archives: July 2011

BACON. Morning!

ANOUSH. Oh! Oh my gosh, it’s YOU! Wait ’til I tell everyone- they’re gonna flip!
BACON. Oh, you don’t have to make it an over-the-stove-top thing.
ANOUSH. No-no-no, you don’t understand – you’re *ALLLLL* they talk about. And, just as a side? I know ALL your bits by heart.
BACON. Really!
ANOUSH. Yep! And Oh! I’ve been reading your strip every morning, too. It’s SO well-done.
BACON. Thanks! I didn’t know I had followers.
ANOUSH. Trust me. You have followers.
BACON. So, do you hang out here a lot?
ANOUSH. Psh, I practically live here.
BACON. Well, thanks for comin’ down, then!
ANOUSH. Oh, anytime!
BACON. Am I allowed to smoke in here?
ANOUSH. Oh yeah. Go for it.
BACON. Thanks.
ANOUSH. So you know the Fryer’s Club?
BACON. Oh, yeah. Totally.
ANOUSH. Whoa!
BACON. Yeah, I’ve had a pretty lucky streak. But it’s not like I’m the salt of the earth or anything.
ANOUSH. Whaddayou mean?
BACON. I meannnnn I’m not, like, side-splittingly funnyall the time.
ANOUSH. C’monnnnn don’t hack away at yourself like that – it’s not Kosher.
BACON. But a lot of my stuff’s very raw and_
ANOUSH. Say what you will…. I think you’re definitely Oscar material.
BACON. Hah, thanks but I kinda think all that stuff’s baloney.
ANOUSH. Yeah, I guess it’s easy to get yourself wrapped up in it all.
BACON. Lil’ bit.
ANOUSH. I still think we have a lot in common even though we come from different stock.
BACON. Wow. What a good note to end on. *Waaaay* to bring it home!
ANOUSH. Thanks, Bacon!
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ANOUSH. Where’ve you been!
REMOTE. You know where I’ve been? Flippin’ out – *that’s* where I’ve been.
ANOUSH. Well people’ve been worried – they’ve begun to *TALK.*
REMOTE. GOOD! *Let* ’em talk!

ANOUSH. They say you’ve lost your touch.

REMOTE. Tell ’em I’ve gone undercover. Yeah… yeah and that I’ll return… indefinitely.
ANOUSH. What_
REMOTE. NO! Tell ’em  I’ve finally taken control of my own life and that I’ve had it up to my BUTTons with their_
ANOUSH. I_
REMOTE. *NO* actually, tell ’em – noooooo…*ask* ’em – how THEY’D feel if they had to work two dead-endtable jobs on a daily basis.
ANOUSH. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, STOP.
REMOTE. No, YOU stop.
ANOUSH. No, *YOU* stop.
REMOTE. No, YOU stop.
::::::: Quite the power struggle, eh? ::::::::::
ANOUSH. Hey.
REMOTE. Hey.
ANOUSH. Could we start over?
REMOTE. Ok, fine.
ANOUSH. Nowwww. What brought this on?
REMOTE. Ughhhhh, I dunno… I never shoulda gone commercial.
ANOUSH. Oh, don’t say that.
REMOTE. If I could do it allover again, I would’ve watched my own ideas play out more.
ANOUSH. So why’d you make the switch?
REMOTE. The lifestyle! The *lifestyle!* I got paid under the couch and they called me cute, weird things like “arm candy” and other pet names and_
ANOUSH. Sounds like you totally got lost in it.
REMOTE. Yeah! I know! And I’m not even that great with people. I really don’t do well with social clicks.
ANOUSH. But *this* is going pretty well, though!
REMOTE. It is, you’re right! We should get together again sometime and dish!
ANOUSH. Yeah! Maybe I can pick you up one day or something – what’s your schedule like?
REMOTE. Pretty flexible – I work from home.
ANOUSH. Wow, that’s great. I bet you get to spend a lot of time with the family that way.
REMOTE. Yeah, exactly. Plus I take on a lot of additional side-table jobs to help channel my creativity.
ANOUSH. Sounds like you’re living’ in the *lap*!
REMOTE. I dunno. It’s a living…. (room.)