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Monthly Archives: January 2019

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This is our happy place. What’s yours?

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DEAR ANOUSH TALKS TO STUFF: I can’t help but feel that life is passing me by. I know I need to put myself out there more (in every aspect – relationships, travel, everything!), but I’ve always lacked courage. How can I become more brave?

Thank you,

CheapUncleFrank

 

DEAR CHEAP UNCLE FRANK: I think before you start judging yourself so harshly, and thinking that it’s courage that you lack, it might pay to look at this whole thing from a different perspective.

For example, can you visualize some of the experiences you’ve listed above? In terms of relationships, can you visualize what the person might look like; what they would wear; what their opinions on, say, film remakes might be? It could be anything, as long as it’s specific. In terms of travel, besides the actual place you wish to go to, can you also imagine buying the airline ticket and waiting at the airport before boarding?

If I may make a judgment of my own, you don’t strike me as someone who lacks courage at all. Maybe it’s the punctuation in your question, or your overall bluntness, but I could tell right off the bat that you’re not afraid of much. I don’t think fearlessness is what you (or anyone) might need as much as a little permission to dream every now and then. It’s not your experiences that define your beauty and your worth — it’s the belief that you deserve them.

When you visualize the actual objects, it brings the experiences closer to you and they become that much more attainable. You may also think that what you’re looking for might be too outlandish for this world, or too much too ask for, but they’re not. The world is huge — big enough for someone even like CheapUncleFrank to live the way that they want — and with the people that they want. 

I don’t know if you’re big on quotes, but while we’re here, I’ll just leave this with you:  “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” — Louisa May Alcott

So, please promise me that you won’t fret over the things that haven’t happened yet, and that you’ll start dreaming about the things that can.

Love always,

AnoushTalksToStuff

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